A Disappointing Lack of Logic

21 Jul

Extract from Chinese-facebook (Renren): 

The translations are provided by thoughtful blogger, me.

女:做个朋友可以吗? Girl: Can we be friends?
男:不要了,我不需要女朋友以外的女性朋友! Boy: Nah, I don’t need any female company apart from my girlfriend’s.
女:为什么,说理由。 Girl: Why? Give me the reasons.
男:第一,没有共同语言,我平时玩的东西你们女的不喜欢也不会玩; Boy: Firstly; we don’t have anything in common, because you girls can’t do (be competent at) or appreciate/like the activities I enjoy.
第二,你满足不了我女朋友可以给我的需求; Secondly, you can’t fulfill my needs the way my girlfriend can.
第三,我没时间和你逛街吃饭什么的,那是陪女朋友做的事; Thirdly, I don’t have time to dine or go shopping with you; those things I’m supposed to do with my girlfriend.
第四,我女朋友会吃醋。Also, my girlfriend would get jealous.
所以何必呢?……So why not just spare the trouble?

Okay, what I want to say here is that this proved to be very offensive to me. Not only does the author assume that all girls are jealous and catty, they also heavily imply that boys are better than girls and that females cannot perform to the standards of males. They also suggest that all girls are boyfriend-snatch ers, and that exposing one’s boyfriend to them would cause them to flirt and attempt to steal him away. These implications are so artfully woven into the story that most girls don’t even realize it, and they instead cry their agreement and consent.

1) 没有共同语言,我平时玩的东西你们女的不喜欢也不会玩;Firstly; we don’t have anything in common, because you girls can’t do (be competent at) or appreciate/like the activities I enjoy.

What shit. This is sexism. The writer actually uses the demeaning phrase “you girls” (see? sexism) and suggests that there is a difference between “girl activities” and “boy activities”. Why can’t girls enjoy blood, violence and gore? I do. Why can’t they enjoy action movies and rough swearing? I do. Why shouldn’t they play GTA? Why shouldn’t they play basketball and rock at it? Is there something wrong? Those chauvinistic pigs just can’t get their heads around the fact that not all girls scream and faint at the slightest bit of action or excitement. The days of sewing and embroidery are long over. No seriously, the next time I meet someone with these views, I’ll do my best to bash their head open.

2) 你满足不了我女朋友可以给我的需求; Secondly, you can’t fulfill my needs the way my girlfriend can.

The last time I checked, friends DIDN’T need to fulfill needs that could be fulfilled by girlfriends. The boys I know don’t have to cuddle, or kiss, or have late-night phone calls with any of their platonic male friends. OR female friends, for that matter. That’s why people have romantic partners at all! Unless, of course, said person only has romantic/sexual needs. Shiver. Then it would really be a good reason for him not to have any platonic female friends at all. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I was under the impression that people needed normal friends too–for variety, a better social life, companionship–lots of things.

3) 我没时间和你逛街吃饭什么的,那是陪女朋友做的事; Thirdly, I don’t have time to dine or go shopping with you; those things I’m supposed to do with my girlfriend.

Once again, the writer ignores the fact that there is MORE to friendships than dining and shopping. Maybe he/she limits her activities to dining and shopping when he/she goes out with his/her friends. I’m thinking more along the lines of actual conversations, friendly advice, companionship and shared good times. Am I wrong? Friends can watch TV, play video games, do work/homework together…I never realized that I was only supposed to eat and shop with them. Oops. Sorry, guys. Also, who said that friends had to go out one-on-one? Assumptions, assumptions. What happened to group outings?

I’m not going to go any further. My opinion is that if the girlfriend wouldn’t allow her dude to have any platonic female friends, it must be because he has a thing for doing weirdly creepy/romantic things with platonic friends of his. And that therefore, she doesn’t mind him doing that with male friends. It’s either that, or that she’s an over-jealous, over-protective little bitch. Doesn’t she know the importance of having friends? Would she go without any male friends herself? I’m guessing not. It’s often opposite-gender friends who can provide good advice about relationships when communication is poor and tension levels are high between the couple.

This article, from Renren, was probably written to make bitchy jealous girlfriends happier (“Wow, this person understands how I feel…!”), but I guess it only invoked anger and resentment in me when I came across it. I honestly don’t see why, if the girl truly loved her boyfriend, any girl would even try to do this. I think it’s terrible that couples would desire for each other to have as few opposite-gender friends as possible–it really shows a lack of trust and responsibility.

I couldn’t help but bash it. It’s my aggressive nature. And this time, I’m not sorry.

At all.

I hope its writer sees this.

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3 Responses to “A Disappointing Lack of Logic”

  1. Alaaaaaast July 21, 2011 at 3:24 pm #

    I don’t think that the author understands English. Anyways, why bother? Shallow people can remain shallow.

    Somehow looking at this I’m reminded of my motivation to only have friends. Dunno why.

    • AwesomeAim July 21, 2011 at 3:30 pm #

      Yes they can. …And maybe that’s because I’m displaying the kind of behavior that can easily lose me friends? Haha. Besides, you do have friends.!

      • Alaast July 21, 2011 at 4:44 pm #

        I meant to ONLY have friends. Like, no romantic relationships. Though who knows how my thinking might change years later. Maybe this will seem childish when I’m older.

        I do have friends, but I have yet to find a friend who shares enough interests with me. For now you’re good enough to talk to xD

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