Another Beginning, albeit a rather depressing one

29 Aug

Today was Orientation Day, in which we went back to school, hung around for a bit, listened (spaced out) to the headmaster’s speech, and then retreated to our form groups to do basically nothing. Okay, this is the deal: I experienced none of the following emotions: nervousness, excitement, happiness, and nor was I relieved. Of course, there are far more emotions that I did not experience today, but I digress.

I’m wondering if I’m the only one who felt sort of cynical about this. I don’t if cynical is even the right word. So, another school year. So what? Admittedly, I’m looking forward to some of my new teachers and classes (and of course dreading others), but in general I’m pretty “meh” about it. Either it’s because my think pan (Homestuck reference) is completely bursting with Homestuck and therefore has no more space for anything else, or it’s simply because I had a rad time (week?) with my Friend (yes, capital letter F) last week and can’t really deal with the fact that I’m going to be drowning in non-rad times once more. So that means no more hysterical laughter, no more Homestuck shipping debates, etc, etc. And no more 4-a.m. sneaking out of the house.

Yeah, jeez, I hate being on opposite sides of the fucking globe.

The new kids don’t look as if they’re my kind of person. No webcomic-reading, no reading in general, bluh bluh. As a matter of fact, hardly anyone is, really. I guess I’ll just deal with the Homestuck love on my own for now and hope that something awesome happens later.

Whatever it was that I had been expecting, it was not this generally laid-back feeling. I’d imagined that I would be at least a little more excited, a little more upbeat. Instead I snarked at everyone and then took a nap while listening to Homestuck tracks. Because, really, school’s nothing much anymore. I have no idea why I think this, but maybe it’s because of the office job. Or maybe it’s just my ego. Maybe I caught sight of what was at the end of the tunnel and decided that I was unimpressed, and so decided that the journey wasn’t that worth it either.

It doesn’t change the fact that I bought those awesome new notebooks, though. I’m psyched about finally putting them to use.

Starting tomorrow, it’s schooldays. No more Homestuck-reading or whatever. Not even people to talk about it with. No more deciding what I want to do and when, because everything’s planned out already. And I’ll have to deal with the pointless outings that generally leave me even more depressed than I had been before, but go on with my classmates anyway. I have no idea (actually, a pretty good idea) why I’m so pessimistic about this, but all of it’s true. Maybe I’ll stick to hanging around in the library during lunchtimes this year, where I can do what I want.

I wish there were more people in my class that I could genuinely call my friends. “Friends”, by my definition, not theirs. Sadly though there are incredibly few, and we don’t really hang with each other much.

This is probably why people should always have good friends handy. Jeez.

This sounds all so depressing, I’ll just go and read more Homestuck.

I also have a feeling that if anyone at all can go through with reading Homestuck like I tell them to–and find it as enjoyable as I (we) do, I will have found a friend in them.

I doubt anyone will. Perhaps this is just the way of life.

In the end, you’re always alone.

Why did Orientation make me write this. Jeez.

Also, if you’re in my class and feel offended, then don’t be. This is my blog and I’m entitled to writing whatever I want to. I’m sorry if I implied anything. But not really sorry. So sorry for that.


17 Responses to “Another Beginning, albeit a rather depressing one”

  1. Violet August 29, 2011 at 8:10 pm #

    We’re going back to school at August 31th, but classes start at Sep. 1st.
    *Maybe I should try Homestuck……Mmmmmm……*

    • AwesomeAim August 29, 2011 at 8:29 pm #

      Woot! Wow, you really should. It is pure genius and it’s running in my head 24/7.

  2. Brittany August 30, 2011 at 11:03 am #

    I ❤ webcomics. Questionable Content, Nerf This, Dumbing of Age. I'll have to read Homestuck because I've heard so many good things from it, not only from you. Is this your senior year? I don't know how I got through high school, but I did.

    • AwesomeAim August 30, 2011 at 4:18 pm #

      Yup, this is my first senior year. All things considered it’s been pretty good, but I’ve been better than I am now. I think I’m going to be pretty busy with the workload and stuff, but I’m going to retreat and have alone time during breaks anyway just in case. At least, that’s my plan. And: YAY HOMESTUCK

      • Brittany August 30, 2011 at 9:24 pm #

        Good luck with applying to colleges! Though, it could be a completely different process where you live than it is here in the states.

      • Tamothy Drake September 1, 2011 at 7:47 am #

        Dumbing of Age! So awesome! And Shortpacked!!
        coming over to geek out over webcomics

  3. ArtTropes August 30, 2011 at 5:58 pm #

    Trololol Amy just continue with babbling about Homestuck. You’re gonna convince everyone to read it.

    At least you have me to talk about HS with. Only problem: Grade difference. Durrrrrrr.

    • AwesomeAim August 30, 2011 at 6:00 pm #

      Bluh, grade difference >:/ We should open an Extracurricular called Homestuck Appreciation Group. And then…

      • ArtTropes August 30, 2011 at 6:03 pm #

        Hey maybe we should allocate a specific seat to be in during lunchtime. Then we could nod our heads to sick HS beats and discuss ships.

    • AwesomeAim August 30, 2011 at 6:05 pm #

      Yes, that would be awesome! Yay sick beats.

      • ArtTropes August 30, 2011 at 6:16 pm #

        Also wanna say that I feel exactly the same way. Not enough nerds, jeez… Sure there are the gamer boys (they’re awesome to be with, btw) but they don’t exactly appreciate a girl sticking with them at all times.

        Only you I can talk freely with. Aiyaaaaa.

    • AwesomeAim August 30, 2011 at 6:19 pm #

      Also Vic, to a certain extent… Pfft, it’s the boys’ loss. Yeah I also prefer male company sometimes, but people seem to take it the wrong way.

      • ArtTropes August 30, 2011 at 6:27 pm #

        People can be immature in this way. Yeah Victor is good to talk to too.

  4. Tamothy Drake September 1, 2011 at 7:54 am #

    Haha, I am totally a Rad Friend. In fact, I am the raddest, the grooviest, the most insanely tubular! I’m not just rad– I’m King Radical! My middle name is Rad and not some totally unawesome shit like Jolie!

    Anyway, I thought it was three? Four was when we got back.

    One thing I miss about leaving Shanghai: the death of my laowai braggadocio. Being an American made me feel so special… Also, having a sidekick to open my bottles for me and to pat patronizingly on the head (bi ni gao, haha) was nice too.

    Jeez, work on your mom, OK? You’re coming over to my house next summer if I have to kidnap you myself!

    PS: The fast food places in California are open 24 hours… just saying.

    • AwesomeAim September 2, 2011 at 12:55 am #

      You are more like, King Insufferable Egotistical Prick. Ah, and the details…details, details. It doesn’t matter. What matters was the awesomeness of that sandwich.
      And about the 24-hour thing–I take the hint.

  5. SuperADHD girl April 20, 2012 at 3:23 am #

    Don’t worry man…you’ll find a friend that loves Homestuck out there. I mean, none of my friends like it but that’s ok as long as I got internet. I’LL BE YOUR FRIEND!!!

    • AwesomeAim April 23, 2012 at 9:09 pm #

      You like Homestuck? Yay! Yeah, the Internet is really great for finding like-minded people. :>

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