Alone ≠ Lonely

16 Dec

Sometimes when I’m sitting alone, people come up to me and ask if I’m okay or if anything’s wrong. 

I appreciate it, but…

Alone ≠ Lonely. 

Yes, they both have “lone” in them, meaning “one”. Maybe that’s why “alone” has the connotation of loneliness, and consequently why people just usually assume that one is “lonely” if they are alone (and vice versa). BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN THAT LONELY PEOPLE ARE ALONE OR THAT PEOPLE ON THEIR OWN ARE LONELY.

And yes, it happens that if a person is left on their own for too long a period of time, they become lonely. However, that’s only if they are alone against their wishes, or if they cannot do anything about their alone-ness (here I simply refuse to use the word lonely because, well, yeah). If they’re happy about it, or at least content, that’s a different story. Maybe they have stuff on their minds. Maybe they just want to listen to music. Maybe they just want to read their book. What I want to say is that even if someone is on their own whilst most others are in groups, it doesn’t render them “sad and lonely”. 

Sometimes I feel more comfortable in my own privacy. I definitely don’t dislike company, but I wouldn’t go as far as to say that I desperately need it. Sure, it would be sort of empty without any, but I would manage. And poor-quality company is never better than no company.

I guess that’s why I tend to feel lonely when I’m with/in a large group, then. Something about large groups of semi-friends depresses me. 

And just to make sure it really sinks in: 

Alone ≠ Lonely
Alone ≠ Lonely

Alone ≠ Lonely

Alone ≠ Lonely

Alone ≠ Lonely 

So please, please, please spare me the pitying looks. Thank you.


One Response to “Alone ≠ Lonely”

  1. Alaast December 18, 2011 at 11:25 pm #

    People do that all the time (as I am of the lone nature). And yes, that’s exactly what I want to tell them every time.
    It doesn’t happen anymore though.

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