A long hiatus

21 Mar

…and who knows how long it’s going to continue for. 

Most of the time, I’m loath to post personal stuff on here. Do you get what I mean? When people post their daily-life material on the Internet, who knows who’s going to read it. Most of the time it’s going to be strangers, and–creeps aside–I do, perhaps ironically, prefer it to be that way. There’s an unspoken trust when you show fragments of your life to strangers, because they won’t care or give any fucks about it–and you know it. They’re not going to ask awkward questions because they don’t have the background information, and even if they do you can give them a generic answer and not worry about them pressing for details.

But whoa! Let me get this straight. This post is not about myself wanting everyone I know to go away. It isn’t. What it also isn’t is a post about how indifferent everyone is on the Internet and how I think nobody ever gives a fuck. All that I’m saying is that the level of personal involvement is usually lower when it comes to strangers on the Internet, which is why people care less in general and also ironically why people talk more. Nobody’s going to guess the subject of your words if they don’t know the people around you. They’re not going to make mental connections if you talk about a particular subject. What’s more, they won’t question you on it!

That’s why things such as Omegle and Weixin are so popular. That’s what I think, though. 

I talked to a person on Weixin for a long time. He’s from Indonesia, born Taiwanese, and in university studying engineering. We met because of one of Weixin’s many people-meeting tools, and hit it off (perhaps partially also because he spoke English, too). We would message each other during the day and at night. And I could tell him stuff about my life and my thoughts and things about the people around me, and vice versa, and I knew that it didn’t really matter, because he wasn’t going to track them down or look for them, or to track down background information of mine. We called each other brother and sister. But two weeks passed and the messages grew first scarce, then nonexistent.

And maybe that’s the beauty of meeting/talking to strangers without ever knowing too much about them. You connect, in some way or other, and it might last, but it might go, and all in all it like most great things is just so ephemeral, like a passing scent or fleeting memory of a vivid dream.

I don’t know what I was going to say anymore. It’s been a long time since I posted and frankly I’m quite out of practice, if this kind of thing can be “practiced” at all.

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2 Responses to “A long hiatus”

  1. rinftw March 25, 2012 at 11:45 pm #

    I’m perpetually in a state of inner conflict when it comes to blogging IRL stuff. Like what you said, there’s always the danger of people you know are secretly reading it and the awkwardness that arises from such, and also sometimes people whine so much to the extent that really, NOBODY cares, strangers and friends alike. :/ I guess what makes me care about what strangers have to say is when I can relate, otherwise it’s just like “bitch please, stop.”
    Musing aside I hope your hiatus is short-lived! I do enjoy reading the stuff you put out here (:

    • AwesomeAim March 27, 2012 at 12:06 am #

      Well that’s so nice of you to say so :‘) I’m always debating whether or not to post IRL stuff, too. It’s usually what dominates my mind (duh, it’s all around me, every day…IRL, get it) so I want to get it off my chest but I guess I just have to come to terms with this blog not being the right place to post them! Alternatively, I could start a completely anonymous blog. But that would mean no readers and no whatever, which again defeats the purpose of blogging (at least for me). Oh well! I should focus on writing more qualitative posts instead ahaha.

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