Dreams and the Great Subconscious

23 Apr

  You know which kinds of dreams are the most real? Not the vivid kinds or the flying kinds or even the recurring kinds–the scariest dreams of all are those in which your subconscious speaks to you. Through the mouth of someone else.

  Long story short, I was dreaming about a boat, and X was on it. I was talking to X. X was telling me about how (pronoun) would die if (pronoun) lost this medallion. So I said in a panic, look, you shouldn’t keep this here, if it’s a life and death matter then you should keep it somewhere safe! And X suddenly said to me, “I’m too light. You shouldn’t be friends with me.” (The ‘lightness’ was an allusion to the book The Unbearable Lightness Of Being, one of my favorite books. To put it simply, it refers to a carefree mode of living.)

  The dream ended there, but for the next two days I had to keep on reminding myself that it was just a dream, that X didn’t really say that to me. 

  It was very difficult. My dream took my innermost thoughts about X and slapped it in my face through the mouth of X (pronoun)-self. I have always felt that I am “weight” (contrary to X) since I tend to think about, read into and care too much for other people–not that I show it to them, though. Maybe my subconscious was right. 

  Anyway. It was Not Pleasant. I am quite shaken.

  I guess you could call this post a dream diary of sorts.

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