We Are Young.

25 Apr

They say: you’re still young. They say: the young are carefree. They ask: why aren’t you?

And I don’t know. I’m young. I have the right to experiment with whatever the hell life throws at me. I should take advantage of my being under eighteen and do incredibly stupid things that I will regret later in life. At least that’s what most people say and I’m inclined to believe. After all, youth is fleeting. You can only really revel in the lack of responsibility when you’re young.

Sometimes I wonder where my youthfulness went. Not physically, mentally.

Sometimes I think that maybe one day, when I’m old and tired, I’ll look back on my life and have regrets. Regrets of things that I should have done but didn’t. Of things I should have said but didn’t. Of confessions I should have made but didn’t.

I feel so heavy. I’m caught between an urge to do stupid things and my promise to myself that I wouldn’t. What keep me awake at night are thoughts of the future–my major, my university, job prospects, housing issues, transportation, safety, tax. Why the fuck do I worry about those things anyway? I’m supposed to be young and carefree.

(Then again, the media is seriously exaggerating ‘young and carefree’.)

My friends once told me to lighten up, enjoy life and do things on the spur of the moment. Maybe they were correct; maybe they were misleading.

And I know that I could just shut this window and all these related thoughts and continue living life the way I always have. But part of me doesn’t want to.

Part of me wants to get drunk and go to clubs and smoke weed and not give a shit and go on a road trip and tell everyone what I really think about them and maybe even get lost in a foreign frigging country.

But to do any of those would be breaking a promise that I made to myself. I’d just look at the pros and cons and think of the outcomes and that would be the end of it.

I wish I didn’t have to think so much.

Eh. On one hand, I get to ‘behave responsibly’ and make sure that I don’t do anything too stupid, but on the other hand, I don’t get to do anything wild or even remotely stupid either.

Maybe I just need to find the balance. Some stupid things might be worth doing.

So. That’s just me. What about the rest of y’all out there, yo? You should check out the song ‘We Are Young’ by Fun, too. It’s a good song.

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