Look at me, I’m so thankful

Haha, actually no, I’m not very thankful at all. I’m your average cynical teenaged asshole with a bad attitude who just happens to have read another blogger’s post about things they’re thankful for. And decided to do the same/something similar! Don’t expect sentimentality or moving declarations, because you won’t get them.

I have decided to leave Family out of this, because that doesn’t really count as you pretty much HAVE to include that as #1, regardless of your feelings towards them. They’re like, #0, okay? Like, the first item of the list by default. This way nobody can call me an ungrateful  brat. OKAY SO. FAMILY ASIDE,

(I’ll do the coherence check later, meaning tomorrow. Expect awkward sentences in this post and general WTF.)

1. The few people I consider my real friends. I suck at expressing myself sometimes, especially when it comes to gratitude/sorrow/guilt/whateversentimentalshit, but yeah I guess you guys are okay. …See what I mean? Right. All things considered, I guess I’m pretty damned lucky to know/have known you people. I can’t imagine life withou– I MEAN, BEING SURROUNDED BY DICKWADS THE ENTIRE TIME INSTEAD OF MOST OF THE TIME WOULD SUCK– …Right. Yeah, I hope you know who you are, because I’m not going to tell you so. In my head there are the “friends” and the “friends“, and I really believe that a person can only have a small handful of real friend-friends, so if you’re doubting your position then just assume that the answer is no to be safe.
   
2. Me. The way I turned out. Read: asshole, stubborn, pessimistic, sort of nerdy, independent, egotistical and all that shit. This is not something people would normally be proud of, I guess, but as my dad noted one day while we were having a bad-tempered stubborn-off: “at least you won’t get shitted on too much in the future with your temper”. Which might not be entirely true, because there are always bigger assholes in society who manage to out-asshole/out-shit you, but I doubt I’d be the weakest weakling of the batch, at least temper-wise.
   And now it’s going to come back to my parents, but oh boy am I glad that they didn’t let me watch TV when I was young (I was too scared anyway, still sort of am). They let me read and draw instead and they taught me to play the piano. Also, I’m glad they sent me to Montessori, which allegedly induces (bluh bad word choice I know) independence. The last thing I want to be right now is a groupie. Wait, that should explain my lack of team spirit? This has negative effects too, I know (e.g. no team spirit, ungrateful, egotistical), but I don’t mind them.
   
3. I’m not blind. Yet? *Touch wood. Never let go.* I have terrible eyesight. Without glasses, I can’t discern ANYTHING on the strange lopsided “E”s chart. I used to wear glasses that were not as strong as they were supposed to be (whenever I did, my eyesight just worsened to match the glasses, presumably in some kind of ratio), and it caused me lots of…embarrassment? Lack of self-confidence? I couldn’t see who was walking my way in corridors so sometimes I accidentally ignored friendly people who were saying hi. Other times, I just squinted at them. Not nice either way. BUT–at least I can still see. I’m almost as good as blind without my glasses though, which explains why I’m going to go as a blind person on Halloween. No pretense needed–just a cane and sunglasses. Voila.
   
4. I don’t get sick easily. *Begin walking around with bits of tree stuck to me, permanently* When I do, I don’t really need to seek medical help either. This gives me dangerous confidence, but okay whatever. When I was on my DoE trip to Vietnam, I had two fevers–one on the first day (shivering, with jacket, in the early morning of the Vietnamese summer) and another on the last–and I didn’t realize the first until much later. Anyway, I got over my second (worse) one by basically berating the shit out of myself. Mentally. As long as it’s not unbearable, I usually opt to flame up in anger at myself until it goes away feeling stupid.
   
5. HOMESTUCK. This list is no longer in order of importance, because this is as important as anything. You cannot beat HS in an importance-off. HS is simply the most important there is! Homestuck pretty much fueled all my happiness, sparked my drawing inspiration, introduced me to awesome new music and–well, it did (is still doing) lots of things to me and I love all of it. Oh god I can’t breathe. If you haven’t read it, READ IT. It’s incredibly difficult to get into, and this is something that all fans agree on, but once you’re in, YOU’RE IN. One-way ticket! PCHOOOOOO.EXTRA: 
6. I’m going to sleep now. Yes. Hell yes. HELL FUCKING YES. I cannot say how glad I am to do this. I slept for half an hour in school today already but I really crave sleep right now, despite the coffee.

Okay. You had to listen to/read me rant about myself and my personal life and shit for 900-odd words; I feel sorry for you and I wish I had something less subjective/personal to write about. But the roots of narcissism are deep in me (as they are in most people), and I cannot help but indulge in writing this kind of post once in a while.

Besides, it’s pretty difficult to motivate yourself to write a proper essay-thing when your unfinished homework is mocking you from the inside of your schoolbag.

Oh guck (wha-? Nevermind, guck it is) I am so gucking tired. I am going to get myself some gucking sleep.

Guck guck. Guck. THIS IS STUPID

…

Other people who want to write this–PLEASE DO! Make this like a blog-meme! Yay!